Service

How often do we serve God only through some selfish want of our own? How often do we promise to give selflessly but only because we expect a greater reward? How often do we swear off our bad habits and practices simply because we are hoping for a prayer to be answered? How often do we ‘surrender’ but only when it suits us? How often do you go for fellowship to ‘praise the Lord’ when what we really want is to meet someone there? How long will we keep pretending to serve the Lord when we’re really serving ourselves?

Our faith calls us to serve, and serve with no expectation of a reward, but think about it, how often do we do that? Not to sound all preachy and stuff, but Jesus did. He lived His life out on earth, a life of humble service, and what did He get in return? He was crucified on the cross; He died to save us from our sin!!

And what do we give him in return? An empty service, a hand held out to give yet that stays expecting a greater reward in return. Serving is hard, true, serving without any expectations is even harder, but that is what we are called to do, that is why we’re Christians. Have you noticed that the best relationships we have among ourselves are the ones where we give of ourselves, not really caring about whether the other person can pay back in kind or not, we simply give because we want to, and how great a reward is a child’s smile simply because you have made his day! Why can’t our relationship with Christ be like that?

He gives and He gives and He gives, and we take and we take and we take, only giving back just enough to ensure that we keep getting. We pray, yes, but do we ever thank?

I’ve been on my best behavior this week, well pretty much, and I just wondered, why? Was it because I really wanted to be on my best behavior? Or was it because I was expecting something, expecting an answer or a miracle, never doubting what it would be? I am not proud of the answer. It’s only now when I think about it that I wonder whether I ever serve God simply because it’s right, simply because He is Lord and King.

No, I’m not railing against you; not really, it’s me who’s just suddenly wondering why I find it so hard to serve God simply out of love…

Take my heart and help me feel
Take my faith and make it real
Take my eyes and help me see
All the love surrounding me

Third Day, Don’t Let me Go

Worry

Just now while reading my Bible, a single verse leapt out at me; “casting all your care upon him, for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

Lovely, isn’t it?

But how often do we do that? I mean, just cast our burdens, our worries, our fears upon him and trust that He will help us through them, that He will help us bear that cross? How often do we just surrender it all to Him?

I do, sometimes. And those are the times that the worry just falls away, the times that even if for some crazy reason I actually want to dwell on it, to worry so to speak, it all just falls away… suddenly I am sure that it will be fine, that there is a reason that I am going through what I am going through and the One who let me get into this will certainly help me get out of it, and so much the better for it if I’m just willing to learn, suddenly, however dark it seems I am sure that the dawn is just below the horizon…

And yet there are times that I scream in the darkness, times when despite what I know, despite what He has helped me through, I just lock myself up and try to work it out in quiet desperation, hoping against hope that that dawn will come but never really being sure…

The pain, the anxiety, the torment… it’s never worth it, never, especially when I consider that the only step I need to take to ease it is just talk to God, just talk to Him, I don’t even have to go to church, don’t even have to kneel down, just open myself to Him, if I’m walking, I keep walking and just talk to my Lord and Saviour, just pray… He is the best friend I will ever have…

That is all it takes; just that, and the security comes flooding in; that joy that can be felt nowhere like in his presence; that knowledge that with him on my side nothing, and I mean nothing can prevail against me…

In Matthew 6:25, Christ asks “Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?”

Just let go, surrender it all to Him; that is all I ever really have to do, just let go…

Priorities

We were once asked what we considered most important in our lives; that one thing that we thought we could not do without, that one thing that gave the most meaning to our lives. In a group of about 12 Christian youths, not one person named God (if I recall rightly). Oh, sure, He was mentioned, we all knew what the ideal answer was, is; but… I guess I should be glad that we were honest enough to admit the truth.

My answer? Well, truthfully even now I struggle. Yeah, I know it should be God; ask me on a good day, or on a really down in the dumps day and odds are I will say, yes, it is God, but how can I possibly make that claim when on the average day I seem to remember God only when I do my devotional? If He truly is the most important aspect of my life, shouldn’t He be always present? Shouldn’t he always have a say in what I do, how I live, the myriad decisions I make from waking to slumber?

I’m not suggesting that I have to kneel down and pray just to ask God for his take on whether I should wear blue or black today; but He should be present enough that I choose to dress decently, for just the mere fact that I am a Christian means that I represent Him, I am an ambassador for Christ, whether I realize it or not, whether I acknowledge it or not, I am a Christian and I should represent Him right; and just like any other ambassador, I do have to keep the communication lines between us open so that I always know not to go against His will.

If He truly is the most important aspect of my life, I should remember His values, the things He holds dear; I should set aside my pride for humility, I should remember to love even when its oh so much easier to hate, I should remember that I am a lamp, a candle, a light in this world and everything I do reflects on Him.

That reminds me of a story I read somewhere once; a new pastor had come to town and on his first bus trip, the driver gave him more change than he should have gotten. The pastor thought whether to return the money, for it was a paltry amount, or just consider it God’s providence. When he did finally return it, the driver smiled and said, “I was thinking of coming to church, and just hoping that this time we would have an honest man in the pulpit.”

So now I put the same question to you; what do you consider most important to you? Is it any one person? Your job, your studies, your family? Think about it before you come up with an answer. Is it God? If not, it should be, over and above anything else.

In Matt. 10:37, Jesus effectively says, he who loves family more than Me is not worthy of Me (paraphrased), that doesn’t make much sense to many people since after all, Christ does preach a Gospel of Love, but consider Solomon, a King so blessed by God, and yet because of his wives, because of his family, he was drawn away from God, that should not have happened if he always put God first.

And if your answer to the question is God, ask yourself, is it really?

Almost Innocent

Have you ever intentionally blinded yourself to what God is saying to you? Have you ever covered your ears and yelled at the top of your voice just so that you can avoid hearing that still quiet voice that urges you to be the best you can be? I have, probably I’m actually doing that right now, but sometimes some of the things it asks, however noble they may seem, seem way out there…

Have you ever heard of a Christian pirate? Yeah, there are quite a few out there, a few who find it very easy to rationalize that what they are doing is not wrong, cannot possibly be wrong given the alternative…

I live in a country where it is virtually impossible to get one’s hands on the original thing, the genuine thing, at least, that’s what I tell myself. If I want music, especially the kind that I listen to, I am going to have to pay through my nose to get it, and even then, I will still be paying another pirate to get it for me, paying him a lot of money to do for me what I can already do for myself…and so easily too!! If I want to watch a movie and I miss watching it in the single cinema in the country, it’s gone unless I go to a video library that [surprise surprise] only lends out bootlegs, same goes for all the TV series that seem to demand you keep up with them…

So that’s my excuse, I cannot get the genuine thing even though I wanted to… but does God really want excuses? Time and again the message is made clear, we are not of this world, we are not meant to conform to this world, just because everyone is doing it doesn’t make it right… I could go on – easily. And every time we hear that message, we ignore it… at least, I do, even now it feels like I am intentionally blocking out what I don’t want to hear, I want to be a Christian on my terms, not on His, is that really fair?

Christ came to earth, for our sake, for my sake he was tempted, just like I am tempted, probably even more so, but He always had an answer, an answer I am reluctant to give, coz after all, I am “almost innocent”… almost, that’s the important word here. It doesn’t seem so bad after all, can’t see anyone I’m hurting… but still, it is wrong.

I know what I’m writing probably isn’t making much sense, but I’m working it out as I go along, so bear with me… for my sake, Christ died on the cross, not for any sin that He had committed, but for my sin, and for what? So I can go on and claim to be almost innocent? Somehow it just doesn’t seem like enough.

We are called to live a pure life, a clean life, and yes, it is hard sometimes, really hard, but He has made sure we have all the tools we need, not to conform to this world, but to transform it. Maybe we need to start by listening to Him, by doing all that he asks us to do without question, without holding back, without refusing to listen just because we don’t like the sound of what He is saying…