Do you believe that God guides us? That whether we know it or not, He lays out a path for us, and leads us along that path, always seeking what’s best for us, always seeking the path that will make us better, help us grow, bring us or someone close to us closer to Him? I do, coz I have been guided, and I know that that path we must tread, that journey we must take…it’s never easy, but it’s always worth it…
Have you ever prayed desperately for something? Poured out your heart to God in the almost certain hope that this one prayer He will simply have to answer, coz you have no idea how to go on without that one thing? I have; I remember praying desperately that my girlfriend would be healed at a miracle crusade we attended together; I remember praying that she wouldn’t have to go through the indignity, the pain, the discomfort of going through surgery to sort out a what seemed like a really simple problem to me. I have never liked hospitals, never liked the idea of even being in one so the idea of her having to be admitted, even for just a couple of days, to me was unbearable.
I remember hoping afterward that when she went for a checkup, they would find the problem cleared; remember how much hope I invested in that one simple prayer. My prayer wasn’t answered. At least, not the way I hoped. For a while I did not understand why that had happened, did not want to accept that she would have to go through with the surgery. For a while, it hurt, it really hurt.
The day of the surgery came. I was at the hospital even before she was, still really hating the idea that she would have to go through that. For the next two days I literally camped out at the hospital, always within sight of her, reluctant to even go out to get something for myself to eat, always wondering why she had to go through that, why when I had prayed as well as I knew how, when I had believed as well as I could that she would be healed.
My extended family has never been really close, it has always just been me and my Mum (a really amazing Lady too, btw), she raised me, made me the person I am today, and I have always been a loner, more comfortable on my own than in a group, never the one to get up and reach out. Family meant almost nothing to me, my Mum is more my friend than anything, and I am really thankful for that, but I never knew how important family was, I never knew how to trust another person completely, knowing that they wanted only the best for me…and in a way I never really knew how to trust God, how to lean on Him and just trust that He was in control and everything, everything, would be fine…
…Until those two days I spent in that hospital. I waited and watched, waited and watched. Watched her siblings come and go, saw how much they meant to her and her to them, saw how much they cared, saw how they supported each other, I saw how a family was meant to work, saw the love, the trust that they shared. And it opened up something within me. In those two days, I learnt the value of family, better than any books could teach.
My desperate prayer was not answered, the miracle I was hoping for, I did not get, but I got better, I got so much better. She was healed, and in a way, so was I. I learnt to trust, learnt to let go completely, to give in completely when I know that someone wants the best for me, just like God always wants the best for me. And in a way, I learnt to trust God even more, I learnt to give myself to Him in a way that I only thought was fantasy before. And yes, I have grown in the Lord. For that I am grateful.
Have you ever prayed desperately for something? Poured out your heart to God in the almost certain hope that this one prayer He will simply have to answer, coz you have no idea how to go on without that one thing? I have; I remember praying desperately that my girlfriend would be healed at a miracle crusade we attended together; I remember praying that she wouldn’t have to go through the indignity, the pain, the discomfort of going through surgery to sort out a what seemed like a really simple problem to me. I have never liked hospitals, never liked the idea of even being in one so the idea of her having to be admitted, even for just a couple of days, to me was unbearable.
I remember hoping afterward that when she went for a checkup, they would find the problem cleared; remember how much hope I invested in that one simple prayer. My prayer wasn’t answered. At least, not the way I hoped. For a while I did not understand why that had happened, did not want to accept that she would have to go through with the surgery. For a while, it hurt, it really hurt.
The day of the surgery came. I was at the hospital even before she was, still really hating the idea that she would have to go through that. For the next two days I literally camped out at the hospital, always within sight of her, reluctant to even go out to get something for myself to eat, always wondering why she had to go through that, why when I had prayed as well as I knew how, when I had believed as well as I could that she would be healed.
My extended family has never been really close, it has always just been me and my Mum (a really amazing Lady too, btw), she raised me, made me the person I am today, and I have always been a loner, more comfortable on my own than in a group, never the one to get up and reach out. Family meant almost nothing to me, my Mum is more my friend than anything, and I am really thankful for that, but I never knew how important family was, I never knew how to trust another person completely, knowing that they wanted only the best for me…and in a way I never really knew how to trust God, how to lean on Him and just trust that He was in control and everything, everything, would be fine…
…Until those two days I spent in that hospital. I waited and watched, waited and watched. Watched her siblings come and go, saw how much they meant to her and her to them, saw how much they cared, saw how they supported each other, I saw how a family was meant to work, saw the love, the trust that they shared. And it opened up something within me. In those two days, I learnt the value of family, better than any books could teach.
My desperate prayer was not answered, the miracle I was hoping for, I did not get, but I got better, I got so much better. She was healed, and in a way, so was I. I learnt to trust, learnt to let go completely, to give in completely when I know that someone wants the best for me, just like God always wants the best for me. And in a way, I learnt to trust God even more, I learnt to give myself to Him in a way that I only thought was fantasy before. And yes, I have grown in the Lord. For that I am grateful.
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