Prevenient Grace

I have been reading something on prevenient grace… and something about it just seemed exceptionally beautiful…

Prevenient grace is, in essence, grace being there before we need it, grace being there ahead of our need for it; can you imagine that? Imagine the love God has for us? The care that even before we start something; even before, say we are temped, we already have the grace to scrape through, to come out mostly unscathed; if we but remember to turn to Him and the grace He has so readily provided.

Just think about it for a moment and try to realize what this means… it means that no matter where we are, no matter where we are going, God is always ahead of us, laying our path for us, providing the grace we need to get over the obstacles we might find before we even get to them ; always providing us with a way through what we are going through, no matter what it is, no matter how hard it may seem, He is always, always there before us.

And if He is always there before us, then it means that He is always there with us. There is nowhere that we can hide from God, nowhere on earth, heaven or hell that we can be hidden from his sight; always He sees us, always He watches over us, always He is there with us, for us, that hand held out when we stumble to help us back to our feet, that soft word of encouragement when we need it the most…

And a few times, silence, a few times, there is silence, but not because He doesn’t care, not because he doesn’t see. We are as children is His sight, and to grow, sometimes a child needs to make his own mistakes; to learn to walk, we fall a few times, and He is always there to pick us up again and put us back on our feet. He is there; probably smiling with pride at the few steps we can take towards Him without necessarily hanging on His arm…

I guess the Psalmist says it perfectly in Psalm 139:

Where can I go from Your
Spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your
presence?

If I ascend into heaven, You are
there;

If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are
there.

If I take the wings of the
morning,

And dwell in the uttermost parts of the
sea,

Even there Your hand shall lead
me,

And Your right hand shall hold
me.

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on
me,”

Even the night shall be light about
me;

Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from
You,

But the light shines as the day;

The darkness and the light are both alike to
You.

(Psalm 139:7-12)

Again, go read the whole Psalm, and Praise the Lord God of all…

Have a blessed week…

A Prayer

Father, the blog didn’t have any visitors last week; zero, not even me!! I haven’t written for you in more than a week, I guess that’s pretty obvious, I haven’t really tried either, but I usually don’t have to, to try I mean. Take last time; you practically dragged me out of bed to write!! And I was trying to sleep! Why not now?

I’m not complaining Lord, just asking really… is there something you’re trying to show me, trying to teach me? Is it time that I stopped leaning on you so heavily to use the gift the gift you gave me, like a toddler learns to walk away from his father’s helping hands… even though even then they are never out of reach; and then from walking and on to running… somehow that is beautiful Lord…

Is it time for me to stop waiting for you to tell the whole story through me and just go on the hints and nudges I get throughout the week? Those that are enough for me to put down a single sentence, or sometimes a paragraph and never see it through… is it time for me to go back through the drafts I’ve written and try to finish them? Or should I be trying to look for more readers? Is there someone you want to read something here that I need to reach out to find? Cuz I know I pretty much stopped trying to look for visitors when no one really seemed interested, just polite I guess. Or is this just your way of telling me that the waiting isn’t enough, that I need to somehow follow up on that promise to become an actual working cog in church; to volunteers my other talents, whatever they are, for the furtherance of your will?

Is it any of this Lord? Or am I just stabbing in the dark? Inferring meaning where there is none?

I do not know, I do not know Lord, but this time I will not give up; not on the writing. It’s been my dream, my passion for too long, and finally I finally found a way to do it for you… Or should I say you showed me a way to do it for you; showed me to surrender it and let you work through me… most times at least.

I will not give up Lord, I cannot believe that you have brought me this far just to leave me in the dark; I guess all I have to do is open my eyes and see where you are pointing me, where you are heading me too Father.

Teach me Father, bless me and guide me Lord, guide me according to your own marvelous will.

In Jesus’ Holy Name…

Amen.

Want

Have you ever wanted something badly? And wanted it now no matter what God says? Praying for it day and night no matter what answer you get?

I have. I remember wanting something so bad that nothing could stop me from getting it, no matter what I had to do. I figured as long as my conscience was clear, I was good to go. Yes, I prayed about it, knowing my own determination I actually prayed that God get in my way if He really didn’t want me to have it!! And yeah, He did, but for some reason I always just looked at whatever obstacle He’d put in my way as another challenge, just another thing I had to do to prove how much I wanted what I wanted.

I did everything I had to get it, even going beyond what I had to. No, my conscience wasn’t perfectly clear all the way, but it was nothing I couldn’t rationalize away. In the end, I guess like the persistent widow and the judge (Luke 18: 1-8) I got what I wanted, and even though even as I finally crossed that finishing line I wasn’t too sure if it was worth all I had done to get it, somewhere, somehow, I had convinced myself that that was indeed what I wanted so I should be happy, nay ecstatic; and so I was, for a while, a very short while.

And then slowly, reluctantly, I realized that I had pretty much strong armed God into giving me what I wanted. And somehow it didn’t seem like it was worth it after all, good, yes, worth some of it, yes, but not worth everything I had done just to get where I was standing.

Then I also realized that if I had only waited, just waited for God’s time, yes, I would have gotten it just the same, just not at as high a cost to myself; if I had waited I would have had the time to actually think about how much I really wanted it. And if I had waited, I would have had a much larger selection to choose from…

So right now, looking back, yes, I wish I had waited, but I didn’t. Was it worth it? No, not really, but the lesson I learnt was; God loves me, completely and unconditionally, and yes, He knows what is best for me, knows when is it best for me, all I need is a little patience…

Next time I am faced with a decision like that, with something that I want that much, I pray that I remember this lesson and just wait, just wait and let Him lead, let Him choose, after all, He does know what’s best for me, when it is best for me. And yes, that’s what He wants for me too. All I have to do is let Him lead…

Resolutions

I’m guessing by now most of us have already made their new year’s resolutions, maybe even broken them already. :). I’ve never been one for making New Year’s resolutions; I’m more the kind who figures if I want to change something, change it now, don’t wait for a particular day or season to make the change. Besides, it almost seems part of the resolution making tradition that sooner or later we will break those resolutions, more likely sooner.

Why is that though? Is it because we don’t believe we can do what we set out to do? I don’t think so, coz otherwise we wouldn’t have bothered making the resolution anyway. Laziness? More likely, much more likely.

But that’s beside the point. What kind of resolutions do we make? The kind that are to build us? And how? Do we ever remember to pray before making them? To involve God in the decisions we make before we cast them in stone? And when we do make the resolution, whatever it is, do we surrender it to Him and ask for His help in fulfilling it?

Sure, the resolutions might seem pretty hard to live up to after a while, say if I want to drop a bad habit, but then I need to realize that I cannot do it alone, and there is no better person, no better friend who can help me through it that God himself… I did mention we are friends, right? At least, He is always my friend, always there for me, always there to catch me when I fall, even when I am not being his friend.

And yes, the resolutions we make with God’s help are going to be hard to keep, coz yes, He is God and he holds us to what may humanly seem like a ridiculously high standard, a standard we probably won’t be able to reach on our own; but that is the point of faith, is it not? If we only let Him, He will lift us to it…
If we but let Him…


Oh yeah, Happy New Year…

Service

How often do we serve God only through some selfish want of our own? How often do we promise to give selflessly but only because we expect a greater reward? How often do we swear off our bad habits and practices simply because we are hoping for a prayer to be answered? How often do we ‘surrender’ but only when it suits us? How often do you go for fellowship to ‘praise the Lord’ when what we really want is to meet someone there? How long will we keep pretending to serve the Lord when we’re really serving ourselves?

Our faith calls us to serve, and serve with no expectation of a reward, but think about it, how often do we do that? Not to sound all preachy and stuff, but Jesus did. He lived His life out on earth, a life of humble service, and what did He get in return? He was crucified on the cross; He died to save us from our sin!!

And what do we give him in return? An empty service, a hand held out to give yet that stays expecting a greater reward in return. Serving is hard, true, serving without any expectations is even harder, but that is what we are called to do, that is why we’re Christians. Have you noticed that the best relationships we have among ourselves are the ones where we give of ourselves, not really caring about whether the other person can pay back in kind or not, we simply give because we want to, and how great a reward is a child’s smile simply because you have made his day! Why can’t our relationship with Christ be like that?

He gives and He gives and He gives, and we take and we take and we take, only giving back just enough to ensure that we keep getting. We pray, yes, but do we ever thank?

I’ve been on my best behavior this week, well pretty much, and I just wondered, why? Was it because I really wanted to be on my best behavior? Or was it because I was expecting something, expecting an answer or a miracle, never doubting what it would be? I am not proud of the answer. It’s only now when I think about it that I wonder whether I ever serve God simply because it’s right, simply because He is Lord and King.

No, I’m not railing against you; not really, it’s me who’s just suddenly wondering why I find it so hard to serve God simply out of love…

Take my heart and help me feel
Take my faith and make it real
Take my eyes and help me see
All the love surrounding me

Third Day, Don’t Let me Go

Worry

Just now while reading my Bible, a single verse leapt out at me; “casting all your care upon him, for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

Lovely, isn’t it?

But how often do we do that? I mean, just cast our burdens, our worries, our fears upon him and trust that He will help us through them, that He will help us bear that cross? How often do we just surrender it all to Him?

I do, sometimes. And those are the times that the worry just falls away, the times that even if for some crazy reason I actually want to dwell on it, to worry so to speak, it all just falls away… suddenly I am sure that it will be fine, that there is a reason that I am going through what I am going through and the One who let me get into this will certainly help me get out of it, and so much the better for it if I’m just willing to learn, suddenly, however dark it seems I am sure that the dawn is just below the horizon…

And yet there are times that I scream in the darkness, times when despite what I know, despite what He has helped me through, I just lock myself up and try to work it out in quiet desperation, hoping against hope that that dawn will come but never really being sure…

The pain, the anxiety, the torment… it’s never worth it, never, especially when I consider that the only step I need to take to ease it is just talk to God, just talk to Him, I don’t even have to go to church, don’t even have to kneel down, just open myself to Him, if I’m walking, I keep walking and just talk to my Lord and Saviour, just pray… He is the best friend I will ever have…

That is all it takes; just that, and the security comes flooding in; that joy that can be felt nowhere like in his presence; that knowledge that with him on my side nothing, and I mean nothing can prevail against me…

In Matthew 6:25, Christ asks “Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?”

Just let go, surrender it all to Him; that is all I ever really have to do, just let go…

Priorities

We were once asked what we considered most important in our lives; that one thing that we thought we could not do without, that one thing that gave the most meaning to our lives. In a group of about 12 Christian youths, not one person named God (if I recall rightly). Oh, sure, He was mentioned, we all knew what the ideal answer was, is; but… I guess I should be glad that we were honest enough to admit the truth.

My answer? Well, truthfully even now I struggle. Yeah, I know it should be God; ask me on a good day, or on a really down in the dumps day and odds are I will say, yes, it is God, but how can I possibly make that claim when on the average day I seem to remember God only when I do my devotional? If He truly is the most important aspect of my life, shouldn’t He be always present? Shouldn’t he always have a say in what I do, how I live, the myriad decisions I make from waking to slumber?

I’m not suggesting that I have to kneel down and pray just to ask God for his take on whether I should wear blue or black today; but He should be present enough that I choose to dress decently, for just the mere fact that I am a Christian means that I represent Him, I am an ambassador for Christ, whether I realize it or not, whether I acknowledge it or not, I am a Christian and I should represent Him right; and just like any other ambassador, I do have to keep the communication lines between us open so that I always know not to go against His will.

If He truly is the most important aspect of my life, I should remember His values, the things He holds dear; I should set aside my pride for humility, I should remember to love even when its oh so much easier to hate, I should remember that I am a lamp, a candle, a light in this world and everything I do reflects on Him.

That reminds me of a story I read somewhere once; a new pastor had come to town and on his first bus trip, the driver gave him more change than he should have gotten. The pastor thought whether to return the money, for it was a paltry amount, or just consider it God’s providence. When he did finally return it, the driver smiled and said, “I was thinking of coming to church, and just hoping that this time we would have an honest man in the pulpit.”

So now I put the same question to you; what do you consider most important to you? Is it any one person? Your job, your studies, your family? Think about it before you come up with an answer. Is it God? If not, it should be, over and above anything else.

In Matt. 10:37, Jesus effectively says, he who loves family more than Me is not worthy of Me (paraphrased), that doesn’t make much sense to many people since after all, Christ does preach a Gospel of Love, but consider Solomon, a King so blessed by God, and yet because of his wives, because of his family, he was drawn away from God, that should not have happened if he always put God first.

And if your answer to the question is God, ask yourself, is it really?