Friendship

Earlier today, a friend offered to do me a favour; my reply? Sure, if it’s not too much of a bother. Then it hit me, of course he wouldn’t have offered to do it if it was too much of a bother, seeing as we’re friends he probably takes as much pleasure in doing me a favour as I would in doing him one – no strings attached.

Somehow thinking about those words, the thoughts behind them got me thinking, in a sense it was like, “if I have done enough for you to think it worth doing me this favour, I’d like that!!” I suppose in a way I have learnt something about friendship as well... the sharing bit, the “no strings attached” bit.

I always try to be that kind of friend, but for some crazy reason I never considered that any of my friends were that kind, too lost in the social contract I guess, you know, the unwritten set of rules that leads us to keep count of the favours we owe or are owed, the thought that we can only go to someone for help if they already owe us something or if we are ready to owe them something... But there are always a couple of people whom we can always turn to, a couple of people who will always be there for us, no matter what, a couple of people where the favour, the debt, is paid with a smile or a joke and nothing more...

And now I realise that I’m surrounded by these crazy people, people who have given up on counting the favours I owe them or the favours they owe me, people who do what they do for me simply because they want to, because it gives them pleasure to give me pleasure... People who will stand by me, stand with me, hold me up when I need the support and let me go when they know I can stand on my own again, people who will laugh with me and laugh at me, laugh even harder at my tantrums and end up getting me to laugh with them... total madness!! But I suppose that is the nature of true friendship; We always owe each other too much to pay back, and yet somehow, that debt has already been paid “pressed down, shaken and running over...”

Too many times, I have gotten down on my knees and said something to the effect, “Lord, if it is not too much of a bother, would you please...” Now the Lord my God is probably the truest friend I have ever had or will ever have; of course He wants to see me happy! And of course He will do whatever it takes to put that smile on my face, it is no bother at all!!

I am humbled this morning coz I have realised something I should have a while back, something I guess I knew but never really knew, if that makes any sense: I have friends; real friends, I mean, the kind who are so much a part of me that seeing them happy is more than enough payment for the “favour” I just did or vice versa.

And humbled too coz I know that there is Someone out there who loves me more than any of them do, Who cares for me more than even I know, who has already paid the price for any favours he might do me...

God loves me...:)

Daddy's Little Princess

A little something that was written by a friend in all its raw glory. :)

Life changed approximately six months ago... Pastor jack walks into church, his face lit up, “I have discovered something guys; all these years we have fooled ourselves thinking;

If I can read the Bible more...
If I can pray a little longer, a little more everyday...
If I could only fast...

Maybe then I would deserve his blessings
Maybe then he would love me more
Maybe then I would have more “Yes” answers to my prayers...

Gosh, we have fooled ourselves all these years that this is Christianity... if we kept the dos and don’ts.
No... no... No!! Foolish US, NOO... it was a LIE!!

- Our prayers can never make Him love us more; He always has
- We don’t have to ‘work’ to earn anything from Him, not even His attention!!
- We only have to believe in the finished work of Christ.

When He said “It is finished!” He meant literally that! He put an end to all sickness, all poverty, all worry, anxiety or the crippling results of fear; to any need to fulfil the law coz in the first place the LAW was put in place that we may come to realise the need of a Saviour; otherwise we could only do what we are best at: SIN.

The Law was there to be broken!!

Gosh, words cannot say it, Paper can’t contain it, but I pray you, read the book of Romans, critically this time like one flowing chapter of a novel...you just might understand what Paul was trying to push through into our heads, thick heads indeed!!

No, it’s not what you do, but what He did!!

That’s why Paul laboured to explain what he referred to as the True “Gospel of Christ” simply summarised... Christ was crucified and He is risen from the dead, oh the “Gospel of Grace.”

You know how liberating it is to know that I don’t have to work or put a finger to it, Just to please God... do you?? That I only have to Believe!! That’s why God said the Gospel is foolishness to the wisdom of the world... coz it was too simple to the philosophic Greeks and Jews.

Life changed six months ago, now I love to listen to Bible teachers rather than preachers who keep rambling on about how you have to do this and that to get to another level with God or closer to Him...Rubbish, utter nonsense!! (And I ain’t apologetic)

Now, the main point:

I am Daddy’s little Princess
I am Daddy’s little Girl
The centre of His attention and care
The reason for His love

I am His beloved
And He, the Lover of my soul
He spoils me with more than the world could offer
And all this can’t compare with
Running into His welcoming arms
Looking into His loving eyes
Being cuddled in His embrace

I am secure in Him
I am Daddy’s little girl
Daddy’s spoilt little brat
(... as Lucifer often complains)

I could say so much, but God is not disappointed in you, has never been and will never be coz He has no expectations from you, but an expectancy of love wit you...

The Good Shepherd

Well Lord, I have found paper and pen…

It’s been a while since I wrote like this, not really knowing where I’m going, just letting the pen move along the paper, dancing to a tune that’s not always my own…

Since the last time I wrote, a lot has happened, but nothing has changed, and yet in a way, everything has…

I was waiting to fall, knowing I was in a precarious position, knowing what I should do; focus my eyes on the Lord; and yet for some reason failing to do just that… I wish I could say that I looked up and Voila!! All my problems were solved, but not so.

There’s a strange thing about waiting; more often than not we get what we’re waiting for, not always the way we were expecting it, but still, we get it. I suppose I’m not different.

I was waiting to fall; and yes, I slipped of my perch, but by His grace I managed tom hang on to that rope somehow, managed to keep my fingers wrapped tightly around it even while my legs dangled above that yawning chasm…

Again, I wish I could say that I fought my way back onto that rope, but no, I just stayed there, waiting… and waiting… and waiting… loath to let go and yet unwilling to clamber up and continue on my journey… no one promised me it would be easy.

Suddenly He is here beside me, He has taken me into His arms and that rope is gone; suddenly I’m a lamb cradled in His arms. He holds me for forever, gently chastising me for not having faith in Him, for not believing in Him enough, in a way it hurts, it shames… he has done so much for me already, what is a little faith? And yet behind every word I can feel the love he has for me, know again that this is me Shepherd, my True Shepherd who gave His life for me, who loves me more than I can comprehend…

He holds me for forever; and yet only for a moment… then I realize that the instant before He held me, I let go of that rope, the instant before I was falling, but in His mercy, His grace, He held me up, didn’t let me fall… and He is always here with me…

And now I am back on that rope, strengthened, revitalized and yes, finally looking in the right direction; not down to what could be, but up to my Lord, my Saviour, my Shepherd who will see me through…

Waiting to Fall

I am standing in the middle of a tightrope strung between two high peaks. Nothing but the cool air around me, the beautiful oh so beautiful sky above me, and my destination in front of me… I can do this see, God is with me, He is holding my hand as I stride confidently (yes, I actually do mean stride) on this narrow bridge, and He will never let me fall. He loves me, see? And He led me here, He knows I can do this, and so, even though I am not really sure I can, I can trust Him to know that I can, trust him to see me across…

He will see me across, won’t He? I sneak a peek down, just to see what’s down there. Sure, there is the valley, I knew about that, only now it looks like a canyon, its steep banks falling away into shadow, shadow that resembles nothing more than a gaping maw. What if I fall? Just what if?

Suddenly, balanced in the middle of nowhere, I’m frozen. The rope I was walking along so confidently on just a few moments ago suddenly seems to have dwindled to a thread and I, I’m hanging between where I am coming from and where I want to be, but right now, where I am, there is no support, nothing to lean on but God…and of course, He is always with me, He will never let me fall… see? I know that, I still know that, only now, in the middle of it all, I’m stuck.

I need to move forward, I know I should move forward, but it doesn’t feel like I have the faith to go on. Sure, I know God is there, I know He loves me, I know He will not; He would never let me fall… so why am I looking down instead of up? Why am I terrifying myself with what could be instead of what is? It’s almost like I have made up my mind… I am going to fall…

I am going to fall, aren’t I? So why keep walking? Why not just throw myself off this flimsy bridge and have done with it? After all, if he really wanted me to make it across He would have given me a rope bridge at the very least, wouldn’t He?

So I just stand and wait never looking forward to where I am going, never looking up to God, to my LORD who got me this far, but always looking down into that abyss that will claim me if I fail, always just waiting to fall…

I guess that is where faith comes in, faith that He loves me enough not to let me fall, trust that His grace will keep me going even when I feel like I can’t put one foot in front of the other anymore. Comforted I take a step forward, a shaky step, only half believing this time that I can make it, and the rope bounces wildly under me… of course, I could always just stay here, just stay on this bridge for eternity...

Only, He got me this far. He got me this far, and He can, He will see me through...

Writing

I haven’t written in a month, a whole month I’ve just been, well, gone, had no particular push to write, didn’t feel like I had to at all, and I don’t, have to I mean, it’s just that I chose to, so I might as well do it well. I wasn’t even visiting the blog, hadn’t told anyone about it… I could say that for the past month the blog did not exist for me, and well, that is just wrong. In a way it is my ministry and I was just ignoring it, sure, maybe no one gets to read it, but, maybe someday… maybe I will actually compile these thoughts into a book that will go on to bless millions of people worldwide!! Ah well, a guy can dream :).

And then two days ago I got that weekly e-mail that always lets me know no one is visiting the blog, it doesn’t seem to exist for anyone else much as it didn’t exist for me… and lo and behold, I had had a single visitor!! That was all I needed to perk my curiousity so I mosey over to the blog to find out if they left a comment; well, they didn’t, not one I could see anyway, but I figured, since I was there anyway, might as well read through the stuff I had written oh so long ago.

From looking back, it seems like something changed in my writing, suddenly instead of just sharing my walk, hoping someone can draw strength from where I have drawn strength, learn from the mistakes I have made along the way, I was preaching… and of course, I am no preacher, I cannot be a preacher, but I can at least try to be a writer, a good writer…

In my second to last post, I simply wrote a prayer, I was wondering what to write, how to write what I wanted to communicate, but there are more than enough preachers out there, I am not one of them so here, now, I get off my soapbox, and just well, write… that is my gift, that is what I am being called to do, just to write, just to be me, to be human like anyone else, make my mistakes, learn from them and hopefully have someone else learn from them too. Sure, I may not always be eloquent, but I can be sincere, and when I wrote that prayer I was being sincere…

I did say I will not give up… but I guess I did, and yet it is such a simple task He has called me to do!!

So again I say to whoever may stumble across this blog; walk with me, learn with me, and this time, with His grace, I will stay on this path and not presume to lead, to preach.

Have a great week…

Prevenient Grace

I have been reading something on prevenient grace… and something about it just seemed exceptionally beautiful…

Prevenient grace is, in essence, grace being there before we need it, grace being there ahead of our need for it; can you imagine that? Imagine the love God has for us? The care that even before we start something; even before, say we are temped, we already have the grace to scrape through, to come out mostly unscathed; if we but remember to turn to Him and the grace He has so readily provided.

Just think about it for a moment and try to realize what this means… it means that no matter where we are, no matter where we are going, God is always ahead of us, laying our path for us, providing the grace we need to get over the obstacles we might find before we even get to them ; always providing us with a way through what we are going through, no matter what it is, no matter how hard it may seem, He is always, always there before us.

And if He is always there before us, then it means that He is always there with us. There is nowhere that we can hide from God, nowhere on earth, heaven or hell that we can be hidden from his sight; always He sees us, always He watches over us, always He is there with us, for us, that hand held out when we stumble to help us back to our feet, that soft word of encouragement when we need it the most…

And a few times, silence, a few times, there is silence, but not because He doesn’t care, not because he doesn’t see. We are as children is His sight, and to grow, sometimes a child needs to make his own mistakes; to learn to walk, we fall a few times, and He is always there to pick us up again and put us back on our feet. He is there; probably smiling with pride at the few steps we can take towards Him without necessarily hanging on His arm…

I guess the Psalmist says it perfectly in Psalm 139:

Where can I go from Your
Spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your
presence?

If I ascend into heaven, You are
there;

If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are
there.

If I take the wings of the
morning,

And dwell in the uttermost parts of the
sea,

Even there Your hand shall lead
me,

And Your right hand shall hold
me.

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on
me,”

Even the night shall be light about
me;

Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from
You,

But the light shines as the day;

The darkness and the light are both alike to
You.

(Psalm 139:7-12)

Again, go read the whole Psalm, and Praise the Lord God of all…

Have a blessed week…

A Prayer

Father, the blog didn’t have any visitors last week; zero, not even me!! I haven’t written for you in more than a week, I guess that’s pretty obvious, I haven’t really tried either, but I usually don’t have to, to try I mean. Take last time; you practically dragged me out of bed to write!! And I was trying to sleep! Why not now?

I’m not complaining Lord, just asking really… is there something you’re trying to show me, trying to teach me? Is it time that I stopped leaning on you so heavily to use the gift the gift you gave me, like a toddler learns to walk away from his father’s helping hands… even though even then they are never out of reach; and then from walking and on to running… somehow that is beautiful Lord…

Is it time for me to stop waiting for you to tell the whole story through me and just go on the hints and nudges I get throughout the week? Those that are enough for me to put down a single sentence, or sometimes a paragraph and never see it through… is it time for me to go back through the drafts I’ve written and try to finish them? Or should I be trying to look for more readers? Is there someone you want to read something here that I need to reach out to find? Cuz I know I pretty much stopped trying to look for visitors when no one really seemed interested, just polite I guess. Or is this just your way of telling me that the waiting isn’t enough, that I need to somehow follow up on that promise to become an actual working cog in church; to volunteers my other talents, whatever they are, for the furtherance of your will?

Is it any of this Lord? Or am I just stabbing in the dark? Inferring meaning where there is none?

I do not know, I do not know Lord, but this time I will not give up; not on the writing. It’s been my dream, my passion for too long, and finally I finally found a way to do it for you… Or should I say you showed me a way to do it for you; showed me to surrender it and let you work through me… most times at least.

I will not give up Lord, I cannot believe that you have brought me this far just to leave me in the dark; I guess all I have to do is open my eyes and see where you are pointing me, where you are heading me too Father.

Teach me Father, bless me and guide me Lord, guide me according to your own marvelous will.

In Jesus’ Holy Name…

Amen.